..I love you too much after too little time. And I don't feel like an idiot about it..

..for someone so illogical like me, I'm trying so hard to be the logical one.

...EMPTY

I found this link from Cheet's Blog. So yeah, it kinda pretty interest me. But I don't think they're all true. So yeah.


You are Red Panther, who has pure and gentle atmosphere.
You tend to give a vulnerable impression, and have a fairy like mischievousness.
You can be temperamental and little bit selfish.
You may be unable to find the objective of your life, and may take a long way round in finding it.
Your attraction is the way in which you do not deceive your heart, and act accordingly to your feeling.
If you try to handle many things at once, you will break up that energy, and therefore, you should stick to doing one thing at a time.
If you can control yourself, then doing something adventurous is not a problem.
You are passionate person.
You have very high ideals, and this make you not see the reality.
You tend to become a dreamy sort of person.
You dislike being restricted, and try to carry out your life with natural sense of your own instinct, that including your likes and dislikes.
You possess strong beliefs, and are very intelligent and hard working person.
But when you lose interest, everything stops half way through, and nothing is accomplished.
You should make yourself clear between ideals and reality.
You are too smart enough to be satisfied with ordinary housework.
You prefer to lead life free of responsibility.
Nevertheless you will be obsessed with your children's education.


HA HA HA
Oh well ? what do u think ?
TRY IT ! http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com

Jakarta is Wet Wet Wet ! Cold Cold Cold Cold ! It has been raining for days ! Today's rain is weird. It's like my roller coaster mood. It changes every minute. I'm cool with rain. But I'm not cool with today. It's Tueday. And I should've my Ballet lesson.
So the big drops took places in Jakarta's most favorite flood location. Uh-huh. Kelapa Gading, North Jakarta. It's not a big deal really, they have the flood thing like every year..
But NO! it's a biggie to me. For some reason, ballet practice is one of my favorite thing to do in the whole week. Hmm, I love that mini studio. I love how I can explore my body everytime I had the class.
And today Ms. Rina canceled it.. So she texted me, "Sya, there will be no class for today ya.. the weather is really nasty. And it's getting more nastier. And so does the rain. It's torrents.. I have to go back. I worry Gading would be flooded soon by minutes. Tell the others Sya. Okay ? See you next week"
I bite my lips after reading the text. Ahh.. I already put my top and stocking on.
So here I am. Posting. And listening to Battement tendus melody.

..Plies.. Grand Battements.. Rond de jambes a terre.. Develope Devant...Part de Bras..
I'm practing my Barre here. On my head.

And the rain hasn't stop yet.

" All have found a connection,
that elusive thing that binds them to another human being."

After a long time of waiting.. and hoping that he would go online soon.. that he would call me again.. that we could talk again.. and then, all of a sudden there he was. That green thing appeared on my MSN messenger. and I can read his name clearly. Before signing into my MSN I opened my facebook and filled his wall with his birthday wishes. So this offline message of his pops out.. He thanked me for the wishes. I smiled. I know he's online. He's there. Yesssss.. ! Oh he doesn't know how much I really miss talking to him. Every single of conversation that I had with him. Yes Sir.. every single one. I
I closed my eyes for a second. I don't want to waste this time. I smiled again (this time I had it so big I thought my face was looking more like Joker in Batman).
So we open up our conversation as usual "How are you ? Where have you been ? Anything new lately ?"
But as the clock goes ticking.. tick tock tick tock.. I began to wonder. Again the same Question on my head floating again (read my older posts). I know it doesn't makes sense. Yes. He's miles away. Okay, I don't want to discuss this.
So in the middle of our very fun conversation my computer all of a sudden got a major broke down! It was completely shut downed in a blink of an eye. CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP.......

I don't wanna be rant here. But OH MYYY GOOSSHH my Lombok (Mataram-Senggigi-Gili Trawangan) trip was awesome. But too bad we didn't spend much more time there :( 5 days is not enough. We need 5 weeks! I went there with Putu , Rissa, and my little sister Marsha. At first, I thought it's gonna be a cheesy trip. But nooo... It was cool and awesome. Although the 1st day we arrived there was rainy and cloudy we were still having lotsa fun together. And everyday theres always be a new stupid scandal which makes us goofier than ever.


Rissa had this idea where she's gonna photograph me for her fashion shoot competition. The idea was brilliant! She made two dresses for me which I have to wear for the Shoot. And the result was stunning. My favorite dress was her red long tailed one. BAM!! It's like a flare of fire in the middle of the beach. I thought it was a cool wrap of ANTM (You did Great Riss..) Too bad Icha wasn't there with us. If she's with us, she's probably torturing me with those extreme poses and I could washed my make up 4x in a row! Heeehee just kidding Cha :) I still think you should've been there :)

Here's some candid pictures that Rissa had taken. I don't wanna spoil everything by hanging the real fashion shoot. You can check Rissa's deviantart if you wanted ;)
www.shelovespic24.deviantart.com

It's a picture of me running towards Rissa's cam. Smiling. I can't stop laughing cus it was so fuunnn! The Dress was actually really long.. I think it's about 2 meter or so. The Shoot was a wrap! and I was really tanned..

I'm hoping to see more of Lombok in the future. I'm gonna go back there again to that mini fantasy island of Lalaland called Gili Trawangan :)

Happy Holidays Everyone !!!

xoxo,

Syazoo

I decided. I do not want him.
Above all of my roller coaster emotional disorder, my unawareness being, my self-centered side. No.. I do not want him.
Rewinding , Repeating , and Pausing are not a good mixture of how this works.
So if you're reading this (no chance he'll be reading this)..
Yes, I do ungfrú þú svo mikill..
and No, I will not fá yfir þú..
You knew the other side of me. I knew you understand me.
..þú einn af the bestur hlutur þessi had alltaf koma fyrir mig. já í minn líf...



I guess case closed.

O shit.
I met him.
I actually hanging out with him for the whole night. Well not actually.
But yes.
We met
after a year ..
We met.
We met.
We met! Shit We Actually MET!
What
was on
his mind at that night ?
Did he think
about
my ugly frigin zit
on my forehead ?
Did I look Okay ?
Did I ?
No
I have a friggin Zit on my forehead.
Yes
A friggin mini Zit.
A hyperbolism?
No. Yes. No ?
Chill?
I can't Chill!
Chillaxx they said.
No! I can't.
It's been a year. A year.. A fuckin 1 year.
and a zit.
I'm playing dead now. Uhhuh. I'm dead.

so
yeah
I
heard.
is
that
true?

r
u
in love
with
her?

it's
been
a
year.
I
shouldn't
be
asking
this.

I
feel so
stupid.

But
why
is
my
heart
beating
so
fast?
so fast..
it
hurts.

r
u
in love?

mm..
better
put them
into
letters.
a
long
one.

so am I that forgettable?

Yesterday I participated in International Seminar on Entrepreneurship Education and Entrepreneurial Schools Networking Workshop in President University. They had this big tag line on their banner , "Unleash your mind.. Innovate Our Entrepreneurial Learning" which pretty interests me.

So the whole day was really about Entrepreneurship education. It seeks to provide students with the knowledge, skills and motivation to encourage entrepreneurial success in a variety of settings.

So there were 3 Speakers from 3 different nation. The first Speaker was Ms. Judith Cone - VP of Emerging Strategies Kauffman Foundation , The second speaker was Mr. Jody Dharmawan - Founding member of the Entrepreneurs Organisation (EO) Network and he's also the President of Lee Cooper Indonesia , and the third Speaker was Mr. Cliff Southcombe from U.K he's a consultant/managing Director of Social Enterprise/Social Enterprise Europe Ltd.

Ms. Judith Cone was a lovely lady from U.S.A , has 5 children plus grandchild's and she's still working with her passion and still travelling around the world. I guess she's about 50 or so. But her amazing spirit doesn't reflect her in age. Which is great! We should have people like this more. So, at first she talks about Kauffman Fondation - Global Entrepreneurship Week and people who involve in it. What surprises me is Russel Simmon is one of them. You know, the Hip-Hop pioneer! Def Jam, Phat Farm, Baby Phat, Kimora Lee Simmon's Ex ? it's just very cool when you work with one of the people who influence the world's business in the past 20 years. But what really excites me was when she slide her presentation and talks about this young guy who is only 20, named Brendan Ciecko. He started at age 11 as a web master, designing webs for artist. At first he only do it for fun but he didn't know that he was so good at it. He didn't has a basic formal web-design education but one thing for sure, he loves what he's doing, and he's passionate about it. So, at age 20 (now) he's already working with The Rolling Stones, Rihanna, New Republic and other big artists. He also got the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards. Hoowww coool iss thaaat! WHAAAM!

The second speaker was even cooler! He has a log black hair , heart shaped face which I think makes him samurai-looked-a-like. He's Mr. Jody Dharmawan. Despite his disfluency in Bahasa Indonesia , he is still a truly Indonesian. Well, he left the country when he was only 3, grew up in Hongkong and completed his education in London. I just loovee his nature.
"So what is Entrepreneur?" he said. "Pushing the envelope, not the paper. It's how you think. Challenge the convention. Driven by passion. Unleash ideas to reality"..
"What Does it takes for you to be an entrepreneur ?" and then he came up with a big red word on the screen , it says "COOL" and then "WOW" he said it defines our approach , attitude and experience. Aah, a new definition. Mr.Jodi also expand about thirst of learning. It makes us to be more open minded and it will takes us to a Great Opportunities and at that point we got the process where Idea are transformed into enterprises that generate value for society. Isn't that just wonderful ?

and so , the third Speaker was a from U.K , Mr. Cliff Southcombe.
He discuss many aspects about entrepreneurship. Then Focus it on Social Enterprise.
Sociopreneurship is another shape of entrepreneurship. Therefore entrepreneurship has many implementations in our life , not only making profit. It might be something different from what appeared in our mind. It's more or less about how these social activities can create not only Money but also give the real value added for people's life..


So there you go.. That was my day. How's yours ?

Oooh I haven't been updating for quite a time! Okay, the reason why is that, probably of my full schedule lately. I'm here already. Yes, the fabulous 12th grade. The last year 'the so called' glitter year. Trust me it doesn't sound and feel that way. It's waaaaaay more over than that word. I have to take extra classes outside, updating every single of last year's exams, upgrading 50% of my scores, doing some research about this year's national exam, pay more extra attention of each single classes (d'oh) , and some of these and more of that. Yes Sir.. we gotta work our ass off.

This year I have to face and beat 6 diffrent subjects (rumours says that it might be 8). CRAZZZZZYYY RIGHHHTTT.. even a friend of mine that I think is very genius has the same opinion with me. So here I am, about to discuss the lack of Indonesian Education System (BLAME THE FKCINN GOVERNMENT).

Our freaking government believes that a standardized national examination can improve the quality of education since the students and the schools will try hard to meet the demand of the examination. However, education deals with human beings and the process of education is not like the production process in factories. The examination is based on the accumulation of knowledge and skills mastered by the students during the process and the items of the test have been carefully framed on certain statistical considerations. Consequently, the examination measures not the whole achievement of the students, but a part: the cognitive faculty. The process of education, on the other hand, considers human beings as unique creatures with diverse and dynamic personalities. Their achievement, then, cannot simply be measured by a test. The big question is “what for?” Do we need a national examination to improve the quality of education? Anyway, the government has promoted school-based management that promotes the autonomy of schools so that in the future each school has a root in the society and meets the demand of the society. Further, then, each school has their own identity with its own uniqueness and excellences. This management system has been developed to answer the problems of a centralized educational system, applied since the New Order. The national examination, in this case, is not in line with the policy of school-based management

How about the teachers? By having the national examination, will the teachers improve and develop their skills and knowledge? The biggest concern of the teachers will be equipping themselves with test-drill resource packs: a quick and an easy way to be called good teachers: teachers who successfully scare the students with the test. That's not a good way integrating your students with your way of learning TEACHERS!

So, What I'm really trying to say is that, national standardized test is OUUKKAAY. as far is it is meant to control the quality of the schools, but not determining the student's fate.


xoxo,
Syazoo

Listening to : Biru by Dian Pramana Poetra & Syahrani
Wearing : Mom's Over sized Red Tee
Mood : Sleepy
Time : 9:52 pm (and guess what, I'm already sleepy. how lame..)

Mom text me she told me that she's already in Thailand. She didn't say anything this morning. I forgot that she's going to go to Thai today. So I didn't get the chance to say 'bye mom, have a nice trip'.
Mom.. hmm.. She's kinda awesome. She works hard. She plays hard. Although she's currently unemployed now. But I guess she's enjoying the life 'without the money' part. She loves doing the voluntary thing so much that she even sometimes forget how to do the normal things works around here. She loves adventure to the core! Have I mention this before ? I had my first bungee jump with her.

I once asked her , what if she never married my dad and what on earth will she be doing for the rest of her life. Her answer was a bit irritating "Well that's simple honey! I might be somewhere in the jungle or eastern Europe or Africa! Backpacking! Discovering new things. Mmm.. Or I might be searching a peace of mind on..bla bla... " and there she goes..
Now I know where I get my high expectation with a highly recomended imagination, LOL..

I don't have a certain reason to write this post, actually its a bit random yeah? discussing mom? on 10pm ? totally random. Oh well.
rrrrr..... my late night inner monsterious is almost out peeps. Gotta go... and sleep.


xoxo,
zoo

Me currently in love with Salvador Dali

Me currently been longing to see me old friends

Me currently singing that's what you get by paramore

Me currently alone in the house

Me currently imagining what the future will bring

Me currently feeeeeelin WHITE

An unrealistically handsome, so cool its
painful, unbelievably sexy-haired man who is the lead singer of the genius band
called The Strokes. Also has especially hot voice, and the sexiest laugh ever. There is nothing hotter

It's JULIAN CASABLANCAS

He was born on August 23, 1978 in New York City

(who cares if he's 30 ! with a guy like him ? okay, he's definitely mine)
His father, John, is founder of the Elite Modelling Agency

(he's already sick of models that's why he wants me)
He currently in New York City

(aah, my future city)

He reportedly learned how music "works" while listening to a tape of The Doors

(it's called inspiration)
He is Spanish and Danish

(what a perfect mix! imagine our baby's gonna be half Indonesian)

Highly cool and unconventially attractive, his real magnestism lies in the droll way he carries himself and holds the mike

Julian is by far one of the sexiest perfomers of there, if not the most. Julian Casablancas is my lover. Yeah, you heard me. Back off!

xoxo,

Zoo

My big sister (CITRA) just left for Japan again. This time no tears involved in the Airport (which is good). Her flight was 9:40 pm. And she's taking Korean Air. She said that, that's the best price that she could get with the convenience.

Syaz : Why don't you take China Air Instead ? It's like the cheapest one ever right ?
Cit : Euuuwwh! Less money doesn't always to be less quality and hygene....
Syaz : Huh ?
Cit : Don't you know, in China Air they have this spit thing in every corner of the plane. Even the flight stewardess spit on it too!
Syaz : WTF ?!..
Cit : The stewardess are mean too! They're like chinese mean girls on plane. And Oh! the passanger..! They smell.. they have this smell. This awkward smell. Like so euwh..
Syaz : HAHA.. what is it ?
Cit : Maybe it's because they're chinese.... So they SMELL...
Syaz : HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.............
Cit : No , I'm kidding, That would be mean. HeeHee. It would be because of the spits.......
Syaz & Cit : (silence-- and looking at each other.. and laugh again.) HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA..
Syaz : So anyway sis, glad u're not on board on China Air. Have a pleasant flight!..

and while i'm continuing my words, theres a bunch of stewardess which I think they look like blue poodles with a really big ribbon on their neck which is disturbing me, cus it reminds me of suicide.

Cit : (looking over those blue poodles) Ah! that would be my flight. It's Korean Air.

Syaz : Ahh ? ...

Cit : Whaaaat ? Don't stare at them like that

Syaza : ..(SMILED).. HAVE WONDERFUL FLIGHT SIS !!!!

and then, I hugged her.

and I miss her already.

xoxo,

Zoo

Happiness.. what will you say if I tell you to describe this simple one word. "Happiness". What will you say ?..

They say..

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is
the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and
gratitude" - Denis Waitley

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness
consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life" -
Albert Camus

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace" - Dalai lama

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved" - George Sand

So again.. What will you say ?

After a nice sip of Tea , I decided to browse some DVDs of mine that I haven't watch yet. So.. I did found some of my Korean Movies ( You know I'm such a Korean whore ). I went downstairs and played the movie without seeing the cover first. The Movie called 'Beyond All Magic' aka Black Heart. I thought the movie gonna be like my most likely Korean Movies. Chick Flicks , Romantic Comedy or Horrors. So , I was wrong. It was mm.. Romantic Drama ? err... No.. Drama Comedy ? err.. not even close.. Well, you know those movie that makes you feel bored in the middle and makes you smile at the end ? Yeah.. Sort of like that.

So, the story is about.. A 38-year old Nam-hee who sells fruit and struggle with her life. And she's living with her Mother who thinks she's still a teenager (ill with Alzheimer’s). And not long after that, her senseless daughter who only dreams of becoming an anchorwoman came to her house and decided to live with her too. One day, Joon, a mysterious guy appears to these three eccentric womens. He just pops out of no where. And Nam-hee who got tired of living feels at peace and her heart flutters for the first time through Joon. And when her Daughter, Na-rae senses it, she is confused and gets jealous of mother’s love, but finally realizes that mom is also a woman.... Thanks to Joon, the love messenger, they become slowly aware of true meaning of love, life and a family. And at the end of the Movie you'll know who's Joon is. I'm in love with Joon's character <3

I'm not trying to be cliche here. But Happiness only pops out when you least expected.

xoxo,

Zoo

Listening to : Gymnopedie 1(Lent ent douloureux)
Mood : floating

I closed my eyes..
It got me to the start.
I went to this tunnel. A dark one. But it wasn't dreaded at all.
Step by step.. hushh.. mm..
Feeling every detail of it.. husshes..
Still Dark.
I stand on my tiptoe.
Every detail.
I was dancing in the dark.
And melted...................




xoxo,

zoo

It's raining outside. I can't see the sky clearly. They're Grey.. and Blurry.. There's just too much drops. It makes me wanna crumble again to my goody old blanket and start sleeping again. Or I could just sip my Hot Choco delight. Mm.. sounds good.

I see the sky again one more time, and then I see this frame on my mind. A frame of an old sweet fuzzy memory. Once again it took me back.. And I glance my eyes to the windows and see the sky again one more time.



Have you ever had this feeling where you really want it but you know you can't. You just can't. I know for some of you who may reading this post might had the same story as mine.



I had heard people talking about "falling in love" on the Internet and I would laugh and shake my head in disbelief. How could you possibly fall in love with words? I now understand exactly how that can happen. We were MILEEEEEEEEESSSS apart and I don't think that we will ever be together in a physical sense. It started when a friend of mine went studying abroad and then he introduced him to me. At first It was like the normal 'hi & bye'. But then, It gotten more interesting we discuss things. A lot of things. We change our point of views and it just beautiful. It took me to a whole new dimension where I felt 'Wow..'

At first I only fell in love for his brain and the way he thinks. Coz, for me, BRAIN is the most sexiest part of all man kinds. And then we talk more.. more and more... and I fallen into a deeper dimesion. It was simply beautiful. No words can't describe my feelings.

He called me too, and it was like the sweetest thing ever. Ahh.. Does my heart skip a beat? So there I was, unsure of what to do.

I shake my head again. 'Okay time to back to reality Syaz..' I said to myself.

Still seeing the sky. And the words "If Only..." starts flowing on my mind.









xoxo,

Your Zoo

Nothing gets in my
way

Not even locked
doors

Don't follow the
lines

That been laid
before

I get along anyway

I care

Anyway, anyhow,
anywhere

-Anyway, anyhow, anywhere lyric by David Bowie

Nothing much could happen

Nothing we can't shake

Oh were absolute beginners

With nothing much at stake

As long as you're still smiling

There's nothing more I need

-Absolute Beginners lyric by David Bowie